Remula Wazokana's Dreamwidth

So sometimes, I wish I was talented. You know what I'm talking about.. There are people in the world where everyone just say they're naturals and it was something they were born with. Now, sometimes I don't think it's true, 'cause seriously.. Even if you're born with a talent, you have to work with it or else it's not really a talent, ya know? Anywayz.. As I was saying.. I wish I had talent. In anything. I don't know.. I mean, some people just say I'm smart and whatever.. good at everything, but yeah.. I'm just general. I'm somewhat skilled in various things, but I don't have talent. There's nothing that really makes me stand out, you know? And I want to stand out. I really do. Except for when I'm in the spotlight, I feel awkward because yeah. Wanting to be the center of attention and being the center of attention are two VERY different things and I just don't know.

I wish I was just amazingly great at one thing. Something that's like, WOW, I can be known for that. I can do that and be the best. Or at least, as close to the best as I could be. ^_^;; But sadly, I'm not talented. And if I was, obviously I don't know what my talent is or I'd be workin' it with everything I had. Or something.

When I see famous people, sometimes I'm like, "Whoa, talent" and sometimes I'm like, "What the shit was that?" and yeah. Some famous people don't have talent at all, but they're still there and they're still in the limelight for their nontalent that is a talent even though I don't think so. XP And yeah.. It kinda makes me mad, you know?

When people are famous, it's like.. suddenly, they can do what they want. They might start off in a specific field, like TV star, and then branch out to movie star or singer or writer or fashion designer, etc.. And some people, they do it all. And it's like.. WTF, that's not fair, but they have the connections and connections make the world go 'round or something like that, so it is fair, in an unfair way. But I'm just saying..

Why do people like Paris Hilton get to write a book and be a TV star and be a singer and do all the other things they do? I mean, Paris isn't all that great. She's only known because she's the daughter of the guy who owns the Hilton chain and because she had a porn movie or whatever. And then suddenly, it's like whoa, she's everywhere. Suddenly it's all "that's hot". Suddenly, she has access ((not like she didn't before, but now people are paying more attention)) to do whatever the fuck she wants. And honestly, I haven't read her book, but I can feel that it sucks. I've heard her singing and yeah. I don't think she's all that great. I mean, I guess it's okay, but still. I'm sure there are plenty of people who can sing like that, but the point is that they aren't and the reason for that is not because they're not trying ((although that is sometimes the reason)), but because they just don't have the connections that all these hot-shots do.

Sometimes, I see famous people and even though I love them and think they're oh-so-great, I know that they aren't. No offense, but really.. For example, most singers aren't good singers. Doesn't mean I don't love their music, but that's just the jist of it. A lot of singers are not good singers when they have to go live. But that's just how it is. Doesn't mean people don't go to their concerts and stuff. It's just life. And yeah, those singers that aren't good singers aren't bad singers, but just average. But their music works for them and they sound good. So yeah..

I think that anyone can be a singer. They just need to find what they're good at singing. Like.. from my Panic! At The Disco kick that I'm on right now, I see people saying that Ryan Ross ((lyricist, guitarist, and back-up vocals for the band)) is a bad singer and that he should just stop. But, honestly, I think he has a good voice. And that's not because I'm obessed with him or whatever. Sure, sometimes he hits some sour notes, but still. He doesn't compare to Brendon ((singer)) because they just don't have the same type of voice. For Ryan, he has.. a more.. punk or rock or whatever voice.. Like the type that would be singing what me and aznearthdragon refer to as "angry music". But yeah.. Today I also read somewhere ((don't remember where)) that Ryan wants to sing more on their next CD and yeah. I'm looking forward to that because I love his voice. And yeah, his voice will definitely give songs a different feel, but that's okay. That's why people like different artists. My tastes jump around everything, so I'm sure it'll fit in with all my other songs. XP

I think Christina Aguilera has an amazing voice. I like her music and I love her voice and I think that she has an amazing voice live ((not that I've ever seen her live, but from the times I've seen it live on TV, it's hella good)). And yeah.. Though I love her singing, I don't really go rambling about it because.. well, because I like listening to angry music more often than not, even though those singers don't have such an awesome voice, lol.

...How did this post get to talking about singers?

Oh, that's right.. It could be that I sometimes have a secret but not so secret desire to be a singer. Yeah, that's me. Remember when I wrote about my goals wayyyy back when and how I wanted to be a one-hit wonder? Yeah. That stems from my secret-but-not-so-secret desire to be a singer. Because, I figure, I don't really know if I have the ability to be a singer, but would like to have a taste, so yeah. The point is, sometimes, I want to sing. Scratch that, I sing a lot already. XP I sing to everything, from hip-hop to pop to rock to whatever. As long as I kinda know the lyrics ((or if I don't, I make up something that sounds similar, haha)) and sing along. All the time. And I'm sure my brother and aznearthdragon are making fun of my craptastic voice most of the time, but honestly? Sometimes I think I sing some songs decently. =O Yeah, I know. Not like I have a big range and I can't hit really high notes, but still. Some songs suit me. Not like I know which ones, but yeah. I want to sing. But then again, I also want to do almost everything, so yeah. ^_^;;

Sometimes, I think I can be an actor. I mean, it's not all that hard and yeah. There are some horrible actors out there, but they're still there, so I figure, if they can do it, so can I. I've never really had experience acting, besides school plays, but that's more of a broadway type acting and I'm not really suited for that. I prefer acting in front of a camera because even though it's filmed and will be caught on tape forever, you don't have to do it live and die of embarrassment when you mess up. But knowing me, I'd still die in front of all those people on set.

I wish I could play an instrument. I played the violin briefly in fourth grade, but that's it. I don't remember if I was good or not, but I'm sure I could have been good if I continued with it.. But things happened and I didn't. I still love violins though and I get just a little happy when songs have violins in them. ^_^ It makes me even happier if there's a little violin solo thing going on. But I'm just saying. XP

Anyway.. I love instruments. I want to play a lot of them. That could be why I'm jealous of people who can play more than one. ^_^;; I wish I could play the violin, piano, guitar, bass, viola, cello, and drums. As you can see, I like string instruments. XP I would also like to play any other sting instrument out there too, like harp and instrument that Chinese people play in those movies ((can't remember what they're called right now)), but yeah. I don't do wind instruments though. I would like to play flute, but yeah. I've never really wanted to play a wind instrument, so even if I did get the chance to learn flute, I'd probably quit 'cause yeah. Wind instruments and me don't mix.

Okay, I'm totally straying off topic now. But yeah. At least it's related, so.. Sometimes, I wish I was talented...

~Remula