Remula Wazokana's Dreamwidth

Watched Yakitate!! Japan - Episodes 50-55 today.. That's about all I did.. Pretty boring.. At least it wasn't as hot as it was yesterday.

Anywayz.. School sucks. Yes, I'm not in school yet, but still.. I hate thinking about the money issue. It just makes me mad 'cause all I have are loans on my finanical aid award and that just doesn't cut it with me. I don't think Cal Poly takes the Cal Grant A -- it takes the Cal Grant B instead. And, of course, I don't qualify for that 'cause we make a couple thousand more than the ceiling for the B. x_x ARGH! So here I am, about $17,000 for one year with only $2,000 from scholarships. So basically, I ((read: my parents)) gotta pay $15,000 for this year. >O

So yeah.. I don't think my parents will want to take out loans, so.. Yeah. Isn't that just the life? x_x *sigh* Fuckin' school.. Why does it have to be so expensive? Why can't Cal Poly give me an institutional grant? It just makes me mad 'cause there's bobbleheadvi, totally fine with his money issues 'cause he's living at home and he's got enough for school ((since he's living at home)) from the grants he's received. And there's Kevin with the same situation. And then there's me who actually has an EFC and doesn't get any grant aid. *sigh* I just can't help but be a little bitter because of it.

My dad came home today in the afternoon 'cause he's back hurt. This is like.. the second or third time this month.. Last week, he came home early and then took two days off ((to rest and to see the doctor)). =( It stresses me out even more to know that he's working so hard and I have to break the news to him that it's likely that I'm NOT gonna get anything else for this school year and that we're just gonna have to foot basically the whole cost of school. I'm pretty sure my parents don't want to take out any loans, so.. That's just how it's gonna be, I guess..

Today, I was making a chart on Excel of when payments were due to see how it'd all work.. Hopefully, since most of the payments are spread out, it won't hurt that much.. x_x There's $808 every month until April for my room and board.. Then there's the registration fees -- $1,450 / quarter. Besides that, there's the books, although I won't know how much those cost until it comes up.. Hopefully I'll make some friends at Cal Poly who live in San Diego too ((with a ride, haha)) so during breaks, I can get a ride back home without having to use Amtrak. Bleh.. All this financial stuff makes me sad.. =(

I need a job, damnit! I don't like making my parents pay for all of this, but it's so hard to find one. >O If only I could get a full-time job now.. Even with minimum wage, I could make at least $1,500 in a month.. During school I'm gonna try and find a part-time job ((hopefully on-campus, but off is okay too, I guess..)) so I can pay off my own rent. BLEH!~ This sucks.. I just wanna die now.. x_x

Whateverz.. I don't really have anything else to say.. I'll just wallow in my financial aid troubles some more.. x_x


~Remula