Remula Wazokana's Dreamwidth

So I didn't go out to take pictures 'cause when I did go out, the sun wasn't really out anymore. x_x Ate with people, then came back and have basically done nothing. Yay for me, right? But I feel so unproductive and I don't like that feeling. =( I mean, it'd be different if I had work I could do, but right now, I mostly have work I can't do until tomorrow and that's not cool. =(

I wish I didn't have any work at all.. I'm getting so tired of life and stuff and I just need a freakin' break. Like, a really good break would be cool. =/

So bobbleheadvi's train got delayed 'cause there was an accident or whatever and yeah.. He was suppose to get back to SD at 7:50, but yeah.. Had to get another train to LA or something and then the train in LA for them was delayed, so they didn't leave LA until a little after 9:00. =( Life sucks.

I really miss SD right now. Life was pretty good in SD. I mean, it's okay here, if you discount the fact that I'm always overloaded with arch work and I don't really have friends to hang out with. x_x Everytime bobbleheadvi visiits ((haha, I sound like he visits a lot when, really, this is only his second time)) and then leaves, I'm left with the realization that, hey, I am a loser and, you know, that's not really all that great. =/ I need to get a life. And get friends. And, I don't know.. just have more hangout-ness than being anti-social-ness. x_x

OrangeGlen is coming up and I wish I could be there to see.. =( And the Super Bowl is the next day and I wish I had aznearthdragon or someone to watch it with... It's just not fun without someone.. especially since I'm not a football person and I'm mainly watching for commercials.. I don't know.. I don't really feel comfortable going to hang with my suitemates and watching 'cause.. yeah. I don't know.. They seem to be football fans.. or, at least, enough to watch games, so it can be kinda awkward, I guess.. I don't know. =/

Life sucks.. Seriously. I'm feeling a little depressed here. =( Stupid life with it's stupidness. *sigh*

~Remula

So yeah.. I'm moving soon. Sunday, to be exact. O.M.F.G.! Kill me now! ;_; I don't wanna leave San Diego!~ ;_; I actually LIKE it here and I don't think a small-town environment suits me. =/ *sigh* Why must Cal Poly be in the middle of nowhere? Well, more like dead between two big somewheres ((AKA Los Angeles and San Fransisco for people who DON'T know where San Luis Obispo is..)), but no one goes there anyway, so it's like nowhere. How will I survive? ;_;

Gosh, the thought of actually leaving here and NOT BEING HERE FOR THE MAJORITY OF THE NEXT FIVE YEARS is killing me. ;_; What about my dear aznearthdragon?!~ My lover wants to stay here in SD for college, ya know.. She's a UCSD girl ((I'm sure she'll get in, even with all her bitchy-whining about not being all that great)) and even if she doesn't get in there ((PSH!)), she wants SDSU and practically everyone gets in there. ;_; I think she might be applying to Cal Poly as her last choice "just in case". Not like she wants to come and suffer with me, right? *sigh*

I'm gonna miss it here.. I mean, hello, I've spent 18 years of my life here, so the thought of living in somewhere TOTALLY different that SD is hella scary. =/ I mean, it's similar in some aspects, like being on the coast and still in Cali, but still.. Just not the same.

OMG!~ Today is already Tuesday.. ;_; Only FOUR more days! Kill me now! I don't want to go! ;_; AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!~

I hope I can make some friends there quick.. I'm somewhat of a loner, you know.. =( I can't just walk up to people and start talking. I mean, people say that this is the time to change and be someone different, do what you want and shit, since no one knows you ((how true is that seeing as SD is my life?)), but yeah.. It's like.. hard talking to people. I mean, once we're friends, I'm fine, but I can't just.. be outgoing and confident like that to people I don't know. =/ Damn, am I lame, haha. But I guess I'll try...? Hopefully there'll be some cool people in my WOW group.. And hopefully, I'll end up sitting next to some nice people in my classes. I don't want to be the person who doesn't have a partner if there's ever group work, ya know? I already endured that enough at Kearny, so..

Gosh.. I just can't wrap my mind around not BEING here. It's so weird. Everyone I know is here. Almost all my friends and aquintances are staying here and the ones who are leaving ((or already left)), I don't know that well or whatever.. And it's like, no one I know is going to SLO with me. Not even one! And it's like, HELLO! CTA. Cal Poly. You'd just think there'd be more people going there, ya know? I knew so many people who said they wanted to go there over the last four years.. so it's hard knowing that I'm the only one going. I can't help but wonder if they didn't get in 'cause they would have applied, right? And if they got in and it was their dream school, why would they turn it down?

I remember Allister wanted to go to Cal Poly since.. I think 10th grade or something. I remember hearing him talk about it and how he wanted to go there. And he's, like, rich boy that applied to tons of schools, so I'm positive he applied to Cal Poly. So I can't help thinking, "Did he not get in or something...?" 'cause here he is, going to the New School of Architecture downtown. Maybe he didn't want to leave San Diego? But then again, it was "I want to go Cal Poly!" for almost three years, so yeah... I guess I'll never know though, 'cause I never asked and he never said.

And yeah.. There's a few people who I knew were interested in Cal Poly, but I think they wanted to be in SD more, so.. Here they are, going to SDSU -- well, most of them anyway.

Maybe since we were the first graduating class of CTA, most people didn't really want to be following the CTA path? I mean, I don't, but here I am because this is what I know and yeah. It just is.. But then, I guess most of my fellow graduates just ended up following the CTA path anyway, since half of them went to CTA-related apprenticeships. But I guess it was more like, hey, I don't want to do college or community college, I need money, and this is the easy way because HELLO. CTA = connections with the construction field = guarenteed into an apprenticeship that teaches you a trade in a growing field AND getting paid somewhere around $11/hr with raises and benefits and stuff. Who wouldn't want that if they didn't really believe in post-secondary schooling?

Anyway.. that was a tangent 'cause yeah. All I wanted to say was WHERE ARE ALL THOSE WHO WANTED CAL POLY?!~ Why did it end up just being me? I never really even considered going to Cal Poly 'cause yeah, I never imagined I'd be going into architecture. I knew that Cal Poly would be the place to go if I wanted architecture, but yeah..

So aznearthdragon's two friends ((not both "bests" but still basically the same since she works with them all the time)), Vanessa and Daniel, want to go to Cal Poly 'cause they're architect peoplez. Maybe her other friend, Michelle, as well. That's just.. I dunno.. weird? Not because they want it, since I'm sure a lot of CTA people have wanted it at one time or another, but weird because.. I don't know. I guess because I have a feeling they might actually be GOING there, like, for sure for sure, ya know? And that's weird 'cause.. whoa. If they do, there'll be people I know. And as nice as being a mentor-type person is, I kinda don't want to at the same time, if they end up going to my school.. Do you get what I'm saying? But whatevz.. I'm weird like that sometimes..

Okay, I'm gonna stop now. It's too hot to think.. Latez.

~Remula